A guy in line with me at the post office points at the bokan sword and nunchaku I plan to ship.
Him, "I'm not going to mess with you."
Me, "I'm a lover, not a fighter. I don't even hurt animals."
Him, "I don't hurt animals either."
Me, "... Do you eat them?"
Him, (brain exploding) "b...but that doesn't hurt them."
Me, raises eyebrows.
Him, "I guess asking for your number is out of the question."